Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
