Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
