Having a random hookup so left but love u
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
