um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
