nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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