I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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