shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
