She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
