She's JV to your varsity
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
