i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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