I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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