3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
