you win again, gameday.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
