The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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