Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize