Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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