I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Its about making memories worth repressing
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
