we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
