I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
