Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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