Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
