Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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