just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize