Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
