That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
