Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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