dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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