so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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