I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
