Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
