Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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