Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
