No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i dont even know how to be here
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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