big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
