He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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