Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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