I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
