she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
