shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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