I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize