Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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