no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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