Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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