Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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