There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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