pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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