..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
