I need help removing her.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
