i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
