I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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