they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
