We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
