My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
