so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
