So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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