Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
