brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize