Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
