We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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