So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
