remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
