Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
