have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
