I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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