She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
