also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
