I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
