butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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