We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize