We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
