after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
