would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
