Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
