Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
