I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
did i walk over a car last night?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
