I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize