idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
