Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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